A letter to my firstborn on your 10th birthday

Wow!  I can’t believe today you are 10 years old and that it’s been that long since I “officially” became your mom.  I remember seeing the two pink lines on the pregnancy test and knowing my life would never be the same.  And here we are, a full decade since I gave birth to you, and I was absolutely correct.

Pregnancy awakened the mother in me and showed me how precious life truly is.  When I felt your first kicks, my heart filled with more love than it had ever held.  I lack the words to fully express how that moment forever changed me, but at that moment the awareness of the sanctity of it all kicked in.

As my belly grew, so did my love for you and my curiosity about you.  I remember going into labor and wondering who you would be and what you would look like.  I had a feeling you were a boy, although I didn’t know for sure.

While I was in labor, I wished for many things for you.

That you would know love, peace, the beauty of a rainbow, and how truly special you were.  Life, in all it’s forms is miraculous, and you are no exception.

You are kind, loving, intelligent, and all the other nice things moms say about their children.

Your presence in my life has made me a better person in more ways than I can count.  Your love and grace have allowed me to be perfectly imperfect as I navigate motherhood daily.

My heart now holds more love than I ever imagined it could.

The depth of the emotions I feel as a mom is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.  When you were born, you also birthed a new version of me, one that feels and loves more deeply than I ever imagined possible.  My laugh is louder and my tears are bigger.

I love watching you grow and learn new things.  I think by now you’ve read about 1000 books, and I hope you never stop reading and learning.  From the day you took your first step, to watching you practice capoeira and help take care of your younger siblings, you’ve amazed me.

I hope I am doing right by you. The world can often seem crazy and I want you to know I will always be your safe place.  You can come to me and share what’s on your heart, no matter what.  I can’t promise I’ll always agree with what your saying, but I do promise I will always listen with an open mind and a loving heart.

As you enter young-man-hood, remember to stay true to who you are.  Society, your friends, and even your dad and I may think you need to be a certain way, but I hope you don’t listen.  Keep practicing your acting faces in the mirror and figuring out who you are.  Knowing yourself is the deepest truth you will ever know, and also the most sacred.

Thank you for coming to me as my firstborn child.

Thank you for your kind heart, your love of animals, and your sweet hugs.

Thanks for showing me what it means to be fully alive and present.

Thank you for everything you are and everything you will be.

I love you.

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