Meet Cher. She wakes everyday with her heart full of gratitude. She tends to her home and children with joy. All of her daily duties are completed with ease. She has perfect hair, impeccable style and her makeup always looks great. Her children never misbehave or have tantrums in public. You find yourself wondering….Does she even fart?
The image of the “perfect mother” may look different to you, but the expectations can seem very real. We all want the best for our children and oftentimes we strive to do it all like wonder woman.
Mothering is not intended to be done in isolation. Who is part of your village? Are you able to ask for help when you need it? What would it take for you to ask for help?
I am learning to communicate my needs to the people I see most often, my family. My husband may not know that I need the clothes transferred from the washing machine to the dryer, but if I tell him, it gets done. My older two sons are able to help with clearing the dishes from the table and sweeping the kitchen floor. Sometimes, my 4.5 year old helps wash the dishes. I take the help when I can get it. There is no way I can do it all by myself, and if it means I have a heap of clean clothing piled up on a bed, so be it. Setting realistic daily goals helps me to prioritize and focus my energy where it needs to be. The clean laundry pile will be there tomorrow, but my boys will never be this young again.
Start thinking about how you can delegate some of your responsibilities. Create your village, your sister friends, your support team. And whenever things feel too crazy, take a step back and a deep breath.
Anytime things start to feel crazy, I take a deep breath. One of the best ways I’ve found to release any thoughts or feelings that are counter-productive is to let out a huge sigh.
1- Sit (if possible) in a comfortable seated position
2- Allow your eyes to gently close.
3- Begin focusing on your natural breath, and start to breath only through the nose.
4- Lengthen and deepen each breath for about 5 cycles.
5- On your next exhale, release the breath through your mouth and let out an audible sigh.
6- Repeat as often as needed to re-center throughout your day.
You can also do this simple breathing exercise standing up! It is here for you anytime you need it.