A powerful anger-releasing practice
When we are present, we are in alignment or in flow. Life is always in motion and ever-changing. If we can recognize this, we can remove the expectation that we are to be “perfect,” and connect with the fluidity and cyclical nature of being.
Some moments, days, and seasons of our lives are more challenging and being aware of the impermanence of all things can help us get through the tougher times.
My paternal grandmother always used to say to me, “This too shall pass.” When I was younger, I didn’t fully receive the message. Now that I have more laps around the sun under my belt, I get it. The hard moments won’t last forever, and even our most joyous moments are fleeting.
Oftentimes, dealing with anger presents the biggest obstacle to staying grounded. It is one of the emotions we tend to hold onto in our being. When we are aware of the anger building in our body, we can take the necessary actions to release it. Feel what is beneath the anger — fear, doubt, self-protection. Once we acknowledge the cause, we can accept and release it.
When we are able to let things go, it feels much better than holding the negativity inside. A simple way to release anger is by moving the body. The asana, yoga posture, I share with you now is a great pose to help you reshape your mental state, energy flow, and your physical body.
Release Anger
Ground through your feet. Spread all ten toes and find equal weight in the four corners of your feet: the ball mound of the big toe, the ball mound of the little toe, the outer heel, and the inner heel.
Firm your quadriceps and slightly rotate the inner thighs backward.
To engage your core, lengthen your tailbone and draw your pubic bone up, as you draw your hip points into your navel.
Breathe into your back body and life your sternum.
Root your shoulder blades against your back ribs.
Life through the crown of your head and soften your gaze.
Imagine roots growing from your feet to deep into the Earth and soaking in whatever energy you need while you continue to release anger and breathe deeply.
Release from the posture when you feel ready.
The power of visualization…
The power of visualization...
Have you ever wondered what separates people who regularly achieve their goals from people who can’t seem to achieve theirs?
One technique that appears to be part of the distinguishing factors is visualization.
When we use our mind’s eye to back our desired outcome, it helps us to succeed. As a matter of fact, there have been studies showing how people who practiced playing a new set of notes on the piano and those who just imagined themselves doing it along with moving their fingers, have very similar outcomes when asked to play them on the piano.
Essentially, we can fool our mind into thinking we are doing something by imagining ourselves doing it. Professional athletes use this in their training, and children are some of the best manifestors around.
I have 3 sons and the two older ones have their own scooters. My third son asked for a scooter, and we told him he would get one for his birthday. He declared, “I’ll get it before then, I know it.” i rolled my eyes and shrugged it off, but he was determined to prove me wrong.
One day, when we got to the park for our homeschool meet up, we saw a scooter on the free table! People place items on the table they no longer want, and I was shocked to see a scooter. Most times the items are small toys and used books. Occasionally, there are clothes and larger toys, but in our 6 years of attending this meeting, I’ve never seen a scooter on the table to be given away.
As soon as my son saw it, he gave me the “ha, I was right” look. I couldn’t believe it. My son had successfully visualized his scooter and it came to be!
Visualizing what we would like to see manifest is a powerful tool in co-creating our reality. The more detailed we can be in our visualization, the more likely we are to see it manifest. Include as many details as you can when thinking about your desired outcome. For example; the brand of item, how you will feel if you get it, when you would like to achieve your goal by, and anything else you feel will make it more real to you.
Take daily action to align yourself with the goal. Whatever small steps you can take, take them. The key is to do it daily so you don’t lose momentum. It’s harder to start over than it is to take very small steps.
And lastly, don’t give up. We never know when our visualization will become manifest, so keep going. The universe likes details, perseverance, and grit, and when you show up for yourself oftentimes that energy is matched and you are rewarded with your desire coming into fruition.
What makes a good apology?
What makes a good apology?
We’ve all been there before. Something we said or did affected someone we care about, and it is our responsibility to apologize to them and make things right. Whether or not your intention was to hurt the other person, the fact they feel hurt is enough of a reason for you to acknowledge their feelings and give them the apology they deserve.
Apologizing benefits both you and the other person. A person who has been harmed feels emotional healing when they are acknowledged by our apology. We all want to know we matter and that our feelings matter. When we take responsibility for our actions, we can free ourselves from carrying the guilt of knowing we hurt someone. By admitting we were wrong and working past our resistance to apologizing, we develop a deep sense of self-respect.
By apologizing when needed, we remain emotionally connected to our friends and loved ones. Knowing we have wronged someone may cause us to distance ourselves from that person, but once we have apologized, we feel free to reestablish the intimacy of the relationship.
Your apology should be heartfelt and sincere.
My children often fight, and while I try to encourage them to come to resolution on their own, sometimes I need to remind them to apologize to their siblings if they have hurt them in some way. You can always tell when their “I’m sorry” is just a quick attempt to avoid receiving a consequence for their behavior, or if they truly feel badly about what they’ve done.
No one wants to be the recipient of a forced or meaningless apology. If your apology is not sincere, wait until you mean it to apologize. Without your sincerity, the apology means nothing and the other person may feel even more disrespected, which is obviously not the goal.
A meaningful apology communicates the three R’s: regret, responsibility, and remedy.
Regret: statement of regret for having caused the hurt or damage
While your intention may not have been to cause harm, you recognize that something you did hurt this person. Remember you are not standing in someone else’s shoes, so it is not your place to determine what hurt them.
For example: I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I got impatient with you. It was not my intention to make you feel badly.
Responsibility: an acceptance of responsibility for your actions
This means not blaming anyone else and not making excuses for what you did. You own up to your part of the matter, without harboring any feelings of blame.
For example: I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I was feeling stressed out and I took it out on you. You didn’t do anything to deserve it.
Remedy: a statement of willingness to remedy the situation
While you can’t undo the past, you can repair the harm you caused. Therefore, a meaningful apology includes a plan for how to avoid the same thing occurring again.
For example: Next time I feel stressed out, I will be sure to take a few deep breaths so I can avoid losing my temper with you.
Next time you owe someone an apology, be sure to offer it straight from your heart.
A simple way to cultivate patience
A simple way to cultivate patience
“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
We can learn so much by observing the rhythm of our natural environment. There is a time and a season for all things under the sun. Flowers bloom, birds migrate, sea turtles lay eggs, and even the sun sets.
There are times when we feel more energized and productive, and other times when we are called to rest deeply. Some days everything works out for us and others that we feel nothing is going right at all.
While walking with my children on the beach one day, we saw about 10 sea turtle nests. They were curious to know what the wooden stakes and orange tape triangles they saw all over the beach were. I told them they were sea turtle nests, and there are workers who mark them in order to protect them, and immediately they began asking questions.
My five year old asked, “Why weren’t they here last time we came to the beach?” And I explained to him how the sea turtles come once a year, when it is time for them to lay their eggs.
Of course they had many more questions for me, as they wanted to know when they would hatch, how the sea turtles find Florida each year, and which type of eggs were in each nest.
I shared with them the magic of the workings of the universe, and how nature knows everything, including when it’s time to wait. They weren’t thrilled with that response, as they wanted to see the baby sea turtles that very second, but they accepted what I said and we moved on.
Like this situation of being asked numerous questions, there are many experiences in our lives that afford us plenty of opportunities to cultivate more patience. People cut us off driving on our way to work. The coffee shop gets our order incorrect. And sometimes, things don’t go as planned and we need to come up with a way to accept it.
The good news is, we can become more conscious of how we respond under stress, and the more we practice releasing it in this way the easier it will become to keep our calm in stressful situations.
When you feel yourself reaching a breaking point, take time to practice this mudra, hand gesture, to aid you in releasing frustration and coming back to center.
Release Frustration
Sit in a comfortable seated position with a straight back. Make circles with the tips of your thumbs and middle fingers, keeping the other fingers straight. Upper arms are parallel to the floor, arms out like goal posts. Your hands are at ear level, palms facing front, and fingers pointing toward the sky.
Breathe deeply and release from the posture when you feel yourself noticeably calmer.